15 months and a brief trip through single parent world

So Ollie Grey is 15 months now. For those playing at home, he is 21 pounds exactly and 29 1/4 inches tall. Which is 5% and 5%. He's very proportionate, his pediatrician has said. The appointment went smoothly for the most part. I have decided to delay his MMR and chicken pox vaccinations. I would prefer he get exposed to chicken pox naturally, and I want to wait until he is 3 for his MMR. I know some people feel passionately that vaccinations are the way to go, but I just really feel unsure about the MMR at this age. The introduction of so many serious viruses at once to a small being of 21 pounds just seems... risky to me. If it were possible, I would split them up over three months, but getting that is apparently a pain. So I have decided to wait. Hopefully this decision will work out ok. We did get the Hep A vaccine, and Ollie was displeased.

The pediatrician was concerned when I told her that Ollie learns a word, uses it a lot for a day or two and seemingly discards it. I'm not sure why this concerns her, because it's not exactly a sympton for autism, I don't think, but she worries a lot. I have decided to outsource my worrying to her. I worry a lot too, but she worries more than me. Thus, I will pay her to worry for me and I will continue on blissfully not worrying. Somebody should be worrying though, I think. Anyway, what I said turned out to be a lie anyway.  

As it turns out, he still knows the words, he just doesn't want to say them. Last night when I was putting him down to bed I realized I'd left Gertrude downstairs. Ollie doesn't always want or care about Gertrude, so I figured I'd just leave her down there. Gertrude was one of those words, he said her name a bunch for a day or so and hasn't said it for weeks. Well, he looked at me, last night, pointed to the door and said very clearly and emphatically, "GERTRUDE!!!!" So apparently he can still say it, he just doesn't choose to unless that's the only way to communicate what he wants. Pointing, grunting, whining, reaching for things are all easier, but none of those would communicate that he wanted a hedgehog that was located on a different floor, so speech was the go-to. So I guess he's just stock piling words like I thought.

Right now his favorite words are :uh oh, poop, and juice. Usually not all together, though today he did say to me, "Uh oh!" and then point to the ground, "juice!" as he had spilled his juice all over the rug (my fault, I put the sippy cup together wrong). Hopefully poop and juice will NEVER need to be in the same sentence.

Anyway, another reason I refuse to worry is that they give us a handout with developmental leaps he should make between 15-18 months and he was doing ALL of them already, except walking up stairs one at a time. Ok, the kid is in the 5% heigh wise, how the hell is he going to get up stairs one at a time? They're half the size of his body.

So Eric went out of town for a work conference which was apparently fun and very productive, so I was a single mom Sunday-Wednesday. The first few days were really rough. Monday night especially since Ollie did not sleep at all. I finally brought him into bed with me and he slept some, but he was rolling from side to side on the bed in his sleep, which made it very difficult for me to sleep. At 6:30 on Tuesday morning when he made it clear he was up for the day I asked him if I could at least have a kiss and he gave me one, which was nice. He's less keen on kissing these days and I miss it. By today, Wednesday I was starting to get used to it and I realized it was doable, if less fun. I found it was kind of lonely, especially the night time, because Ollie was in bed, but I couldn't go anywhere or do anything much to entertain myself (and no good tv was on). I have always known it must be tough to be a single parent, so basically this was having my suspicions confirmed. One thing I've found was that it was a lot harder to be fully present for Ollie. I wanted to do a crossword while he was playing in the sandbox instead of playing with him, things like that. With Eric here I can get mental breaks while he's with Ollie and when I'm with Ollie I can really focus on parenting. I don't think Ollie suffered for me not being present, in fact he probably revelled in the freedom that comes with mama being distracted. But I missed the presentness. I also realized that if I were a single parent I would subsist entirely on Slimfast, as I was DAMN TIRED and didn't want to cook.

There were also moments of incredible sweetness. He snuggled up to me and slept with his head on my pillow and my arms around him for awhile Monday night. This morning we put on Blue Moo and dance, dance, boogie boogied for a long time. He helped me get the recycling out this morning. It was a private world of just us and that was kinda cool. I realized if we had to, we could make it (though I really don't want to have to), but that made me feel better about what I'm capable of.

So kudos to you who do it, it's hard, but I know your kiddos will see how strong you are and the bond between you will be amazing.

So that's where we are. Ollie is switching from T/Th daycare to M/W/F so I can get my dis done. I am not happy about that. Eric told me that I can always not take him all three days if it becomes too much for me, but this gives me the option of more work time. I appreciate that and I appreciate us having the income to make that possible (thank you Eric). We bought Ollie a fancy outfit for his Great-Grandma's 90th birthday party. He will look super cute and swanky. His aunt Laurie sent him a stuffed neuron and a hilarious shirt from threadless, his uncle Ryan and his girlfriend Mandy sent him an awesome fuzzy blanket for Easter, and his great grandma Nancy sent him cookies, music cds, and a stuffed lamb he loves to rub on his face. The damn dogs ate most of the cookies. Stupid dogs. They've gone a bit nuts of late. Ollie is much loved and I think he is lucky to have such a great family, extended and near. 

And now I must go give my kiddo a bath.